53 Water Puns And Jokes That Will Have You Crying With Laughter

Toddler getting splashed in a water fountain at a water park laughing.
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Image © Derek Thomson via Unsplash.

Water is an excellent source of inspiration for jokes. After all, there's rather a lot of it all around us, with everything from oceans and seas to rivers and lakes to look to for your watery puns and jokes.  

Water can be so much fun even before you make a joke out of it. Everyone loves a good splash about in a paddling or swimming pool or spraying their friends with a hose on hot days! And, on holiday we like nothing better than a dip in the sea or messing about in a boat on the river.

And, then, of course, there's the mind-blowing fact that 60% of our bodies are made up of water (make that 78% if you're a newborn!) and every living thing on earth relies on water for its survival. In fact, astronomers search for water out in space to try and find signs of other life.

Now that you're up to date with all your water facts, it's time to learn some funny water jokes to go with them, including jokes and puns about the ocean as well as jokes about wet weather. You might feel rather thirsty after laughing at all of these, so remember to have a glass of water handy to wet your whistle afterwards!

Question And Answer Jokes About Water

Young boy laughing while spraying water out of the hose.
Image © Phil Goodwin via Unsplash.

It's time to dive straight into the best water jokes, starting with these absolute classics that your friends will love- there won't be a dry eye in the house! We've found jokes about everything to do with water from funny ones about rivers and oceans to brilliant gags about mermaids, bottles of water and even made a joke out of wet weather.

1) What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, it just waved.

2) What is the sea say to the river? You can run, but you can't tide.

3) What did one stream say to the other? Let's meet around the bend.

4) Where do fish wash? In a river basin.

5) Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.

6) Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.

7) Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean? Because they dropped out of school.

8) What happens when you get water on a table? It becomes a pool table.

9) What runs but never walks? Water!

10) What keeps a dock floating above water? Pier pressure.

Did You Know? 70% of the earth is made up of oceans and nearly the same about of fresh water on the land is trapped in glaciers. It's pretty incredible stuff when you think about it.

11) Why do male dogs float on water? Because they're good buoys.

12) What did the sink say to the tap? You're a real drip.

13) Why is the ocean always on time? She likes to stay current.

14) What did one bottled water say to the other? Water you doing tonight?

15) Why do sharks only swim in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.

16) Why did the lake date the river? He heard she had a bubbly personality.

17) How do you make a water bed bouncy? Use spring water.

18) What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies.

Little girl holding an umbrella laughing as it rains.

19) What do you call it when you get a month's worth of rain all at once? England.

20) What's the ocean's favourite lullaby? Roe, roe, roe Your Boat.

21) Did you hear about the ocean and the sea having a baby? It was a buoy!

22) What do you get if you cross a rabbit with a water hose? Hare spray.  

23) When does it rain money? When there's change in the weather.

24) How do oceans say goodbye? They wave at each other.

25) What did the beach say to the wave? Long tide, no sea.

26) What did one rain drop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.

27) Who cleans the floor of the ocean? A mer-maid.

28) What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.

29) What goes up when rain comes down? An umbrella.

30) What do you call a wet bear? A drizzly bear.

The Best Water And Ocean Puns

Mum carrying her son on the beach, both laughing and happy.

It's puns galore! As water jokes go, we love a good pun. Kids will love using these water and sea-based puns they've never heard before.

31) Avoid pier pressure.

32) 'Tis the sea-sun.

33) Don't get tide down.

34) Shell yeah!

35) Is this real life or is this just Fanta sea?

36) Water you waiting for?

37) I shore can!

38) Are you ready to make waves?

39) I whaley love you.

40) I don't know water you docking aboat.

Hilarious Water One-Liners

Little boy smiling and laughing as he runs through a spray of water.
Image © Mi Pham via Unsplash.

Drop a few of these brilliant water jokes into conversation and it's a sign you're shore to get lots of laughs.

41) I just heard a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.

42) I considered making a new brand of bottled water, but the market was too saturated.

43) I just opened my water bill and electricity bill at the same time. I was shocked.

44) My friend can't afford to pay his water bill. I sent him a card saying "Get well, soon".

45) So long boiled water. You'll be mist.

46) Have you heard about the three holes in the ground? Well, well, well...

47) I thought about splashing out on a water bed.

Knock Knock Jokes About Water

There won't be a dry eye around if you tell these funny knock knock jokes about water.

48) Knock knock

Who's there?

Water

Water who?

Water you waiting for, open the door!


49) Knock knock

Who's there?

Water

Water who?

Water way to open the door.


50) Knock knock

Who's there?

Ice cream

Ice cream who?

Ice scream if you throw me in cold water.


51) Knock knock

Who's there?

Fish

Fish who?

Bless you.

Doctor Doctor Jokes About Water

Everyone loves a classic doctor doctor joke.

52) Patient: Doctor, doctor I think I've been bitten by a vampire.

Doctor: Have this drink of water.

Patient: Will it make me better?

Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks when you drink it.

53) Patient: Doctor, doctor, what's the best cure for water on the knee?

Doctor: A tap on the ankle.

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