50 Nut Puns That Walnut Disappoint

Nut puns are funny because they use wordplay to make us laugh.
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Whether plain, salted, or in peanut butter and chocolate bars, nuts are an all-time favorite crunchy snack.

Did you know that while are 11 varieties of nut trees, only four (walnut, pecan, chestnut, and hazelnut) bear edible seeds? In a scientific sense, nuts are technically seeds with husks and shells; however, certain kinds are considered as fruits, such as chestnuts, hazelnuts, and acorns.

Considered as healthy snacks rich in fiber and protein, nuts are always present in a healthy diet.  Eating nuts have a handful of benefits, which include a reduced blood clots and lower cholesterol levels. Suffice to say, nuts are absolutely nut-ritious!

There are many kinds of culinary nuts in the market. Walnuts are considered to be the most popular kind, while peanuts are the most consumed groundnut, and almonds take the crown for the most consumed tree nut.

In a nutshell, these clever lines are effortlessly funny. You pe-can’t go wrong when you share these nut puns.

For more laughs take a look at these squirrel jokes or these rice puns.

Walnut Puns

Nut puns make you think creatively and also make you giggle.

Walnuts have been around for a long time, dating back up to 10,000 B.C. Here are some funny puns to celebrate this good 'ol tasty, brain-shaped snack.

1. What do you call a walnut that likes to exercise? A health nut.

2. Your secret is safe with me. I walnut give it away.

3. I will start my journey today and I walnut fail.

4. If I hang this on the wall, is it called a walnut?

5. The pecan and the walnut are good friends because they are both nuts.

6. What did the squirrel say when it left? I will start my journey today and I wal-nut fail!

7. I walnut forget your birthday, that’s for sure.

8. What do you call a nut that’s also a majestic sea creature? A Nar-walnut.

9. You walnut regret snacking on peanuts. They're good for you!

10. The police are having a hard time interrogating the suspected walnut, because it’s a tough nut to crack.

Cashew Puns

Cashews are delicious, soft nuts that have a creamy texture when eaten, here are some puns that are as pleasant as its taste!

11. What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut? I will cashew.

12. Mixed nuts are just cashews with obstacles.

13. What nut makes you sneeze? A ca-shew!

14. Cashew a question? Nut now!

15. Cashew see I’m nuts about you?

16. Hurry up, you better put your ca-shews on!

17. I must be rich because I have all the cash-ews.

18. I’ll cashew later!

Nut Related Puns

If you're looking for the perfect nut pun, you might just find it in this long list. From peanut puns to nut names, we have got it all!

19. I tried to come up with a squirrel pun but everything I thought of was nuts.

20. What do you call a nut that likes chess? A chess-nut.

21. What happens to a peanut when it goes to space? It becomes an astro-nut.

22. You pe-can do it!

23. What will Hamlet say if he was a squirrel? To be or nut to be!

24. The squirrel realized it was nuts when it was told “you are what you eat”.

25. Don’t look! I can see you pecan through the window.

26. No pine no gain!

27. The progress of the waiting line was pine-fully slow.

28. If you don’t like my jokes, I guess I’m acorn-y.

29. Nut that it matters, but I have some nuts for you.

30. I will nut tella anyone about our secret stash of nuts.

31. What happens to a nut when it is nervous? It cracks.

32. I want to tell you a peanut butter pun but you might spread it around.

33. I’m nuts about you!

34. Nut-thing lasts forever, except my love for you!

35. Where do nuts live in West London? In Nut-tinghill.

36. A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.

37. The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.

38. If I’m acting silly, I guess I’m acting like a nut.

39. You could say that our family is like fudge. Mostly sweet, with a few nuts!

40. What’s a Biblical happening for nuts? The nut-tivity.

41. This is nut so solid. It's peanut brittle.

Almond Puns

Almonds are usually associated with refined desserts or non-dairy milk. The next time you crack open a box of chocolate covered almonds, here are some almond nut puns to share.

42. I must nut eat all the almonds!

43. If you put ice cream on that nutty brownie, it becomes ala-mond.

44. The covered almond looked at the mirror, and it said, “that’s me in a nutshell”.

45. What did the nut say after being thrown in the oven? Almond fire!

46. Don't panic, stay c-almond and collected.

47. The bare almond looked at its picture with clothes, and said, "that's me in a nutshell"!

48.  I love almond milk because it's not like any udder milk.

49. Truck drivers who haul almonds are driving me nuts!

50. Have you seen how they milk an almond? It's just nuts!

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