36 Monday Jokes To Start Your Week With A Laugh

Mum and son lying on the bed laughing together at Monday jokes.
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Did you know Monday is officially the least rainy day of the week? Brighten up your next Monday morning even more with these hilarious jokes about Monday, which every child will find funny.

Sharing laughter with your child every day is brilliant for their development, from boosting their social skills to improving their vocabulary. Your kids will want it to be Monday every day with this great selection of funny Monday jokes you can giggle at together. Whether its a funny one-liner joke or a riveting Monday riddle, we're sure to have a Monday joke your children will find simply hilarious and will want to hear each week.

Take a look below at this entertaining list of the top 36 best jokes for Monday to discover all our favourite funny jokes about Monday (plus some fascinating and fun Monday facts), which will have you and your kids laughing out loud for the whole week.

Did You Know? Monday is the only day of the week that is an anagram for a single word. This word is dynamo!

Wooden blocks spelling out Monday.
Image © Marco Vech under Creative Commons License

Question and Answer Monday Jokes:

These simple but effective, engaging and funny Monday jokes will be sure to get your kids chortling away, and will certainly liven up every mundane Monday morning.

1.Why did the corrupt calendar go to prison at the start of the week? He had been Monday laundering!

2.What did the cashew say on Monday morning? Monday always drives me nuts!

3.Why did the skeleton do a poor job in school on Monday? His heart wasn't in it!

4.Why was the M&M excited to get to school on Monday? He wanted to be a Smartie!

5.Why did the zombie have to stay at home from school on Monday? He was feeling rotten!

6.Why did the magicians in class get the best mark on their test on Monday? They got all of the trick questions right!

7.Why didn't the skeleton laugh at Monday jokes? He didn't find them humerus!

8.Why did the robot have some trouble focusing at school on Monday? He was a little rusty!

9.How do you make time go fast on Monday? Throw a clock!

10.Why couldn't the ghost leave school on Monday? He was the school spirit!

Magical Monday Puns: 

Puns are good jokes for introducing your child to wordplay, while producing instant laughter, and these Monday-themed puns will definitely ensure your next Monday is extra funny.

11.What did the cyclops say when he was told to wake up for school on Monday Morning? Eye don’t want to get up!

12.Why was the pirate excited for school on Monday? He had arrrrt class!

13.How do cheeses great each other on Monday mornings? Have a goud-a week!

14.Why can’t Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday lift Saturday or Sunday? Because Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday are weak-days!

15.On what day do ghosts do their howling? Moan-day!

16.How did the hen feel on Monday? Eggshausted!

17.Why was the acid always in a bad mood on a Monday morning? He was an a-mean-o acid!

18.What day of the week are demons most tired? De-Monday!

19.Why was the root vegetable so happy on Monday? He was up-beet!

20.Why was Sunday afraid of Monday? Because Monday through Friday!

21.Why did the cat have to stay at home from school on Monday? He wasn't feline very well!

22.What subject did the snake learn in school on Monday? Hiss-tory!

23.What is the best way to describe Monday? Monday-ne!

24.Why was the broom late for school on Monday? He over-swept!

25.What do you call an ant that sells medicine from Monday to Friday, and helps a farmer on the weekend? A farmassistant!

26.What happened to the witches who broke the school rules on Monday? They got ex-spelled!

27.What did the elf learn at school on Monday this week? The elf-abet!

28.How did the bees get to school on Monday? By school-buzz!

29.Where did the music teacher leave her keys on Monday? In the piano!

30.Which day of the week makes werewolves howl? Moonday!

Did You Know: The word 'Monday' comes from the Anglo-Saxon word 'mondandaeeg', which actually means 'day of the moon'!

Funny Monday One-Liners:

Family at on the sofa together laughing as they look up Monday jokes on the laptop.
Image © Pikwizard

These witty and funny Monday one-liner jokes are the perfect jolly jokes for every child (or adult) who needs cheering up at the start of the week, whether it's a drizzling Monday morning on a school day, or the exhausting end of a Monday during the summer.

31.Monday isn't that bad - just 48 hours ago it was a sadder-day!

32.Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday - those were the days!

33.Monday: Greg, Tuesday: Ian, Wednesday: Greg, Thursday: Ian, Friday: Greg, Saturday: Ian, Sunday: Greg - The Greg-or-Ian calendar!

Did You Know: The Gregorian Calendar is the name of the calendar used most widely in the world today, including in the UK.

Mysterious Monday Riddles:

Make your Monday funny with these clever and funny Monday-themed riddles, which will engage your child's critical thinking skills on the first day of the week, while providing much amusement along the way.

34. In a calendar, Monday comes before Sunday. But when does Monday come before Sunday? In the dictionary!

35.If a man arrived in a town with his horse on a Saturday and stayed there for one night, how is it possible that he arrived back home on Monday? The horse’s name was Monday!

36.What is large on Sunday and Saturday, small on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and disappears on Monday? The letter S!

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