55 Hilarious Spiderman Jokes For Kids

Family sat together laughing at Spiderman jokes.
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Your Spidey sense has clearly told you that some heroic humour is spinning its way to you across the world wide web, courtesy of Kidadl.

Nothing gets you out of a tangle quite like a good Spiderman joke, so stick around and swot up on our super collection of the very best Spider-man quips, jokes, and funny Spiderman one liners. There are no baddies here!

Spider-Man Puns And One-Liners

When you need some super jokes, Spiderman puns always come to the rescue.

1.I’ve just had Spider-Man on the phone. He’s got himself into a bit of a sticky situation again.

2.I went to watch Spiderman playing baseball. He was great at catching flies.

3.I really needed Spiderman to come and save the day, but he said he couldn’t get out of the bath.

4.Spiderman loved my new car so much that he asked if he could take it for a spin.

5.I went on a date with Spider-Man but he was super clingy.

6.Anyone can learn to climb a wall like Spiderman, you just need to stick to it.

7.Spider-Man hated his new Spider-car. He said it drove him up the wall

8.I’m waiting for Spider-Man to call round. He said he’s swing by soon.

9.I wanted to ask Spiderman to connect my TV, but I couldn't find Maguire.

10.I went to Spider-Man’s wedding. It was lovely to see the newly webs.

Three boys sharing Spiderman jokes with each other and laughing.
Image © sonya etchison under a creative commons licence.

Jokes About Spiderman Favourite Things

These jokes will stop you getting stuck in the web when searching for things Spiderman thinks are marvel-ous.  

11.What is Spiderman’s favourite day of the week? Fly-day.

12.What is Spider-Man’s favourite weekend day? Spun-day.

13.What is Spider-Man’s favourite month? Web-uary.

14.What is Spiderman’s favourite brand of rice? Uncle Ben’s.

15.What is Spiderman’s favourite pastime? Surfing the web.

16.What is Spiderman’s favourite sport? Fly fishing.

17.What is Spiderman’s favourite drink? Punch.

18.What is Spider-Man’s favourite thing to have with his drink? Just-ice.

19.What is Spiderman’s favourite online music app? Spot-a-fly.

20.What is Spiderman’s favourite type of music? Swing.

21.What is Spider-Man’s favourite food? French flies.

22.What is Spiderman’s favourite outfit for a formal occasion? A class action suit.

23.What is Spider-Man’s favourite type of TV show? A web series.

24.What is Spider-Man’s favourite type of movie? A spin-off.

25.What is Spiderman’s favourite way to catch up with his friends? Via webcam.

A little girl and boy doing Spiderman hands, pretending to shoot webs from their fingers.
Image © alex.pin under a creative commons licence.

Crossing Spider-Man Jokes

Proving that you can cross Spider-Man and still have the last laugh.

26.What do you get when you cross Spiderman with Iron Man? Pony Park.

27.What do you get when you cross Spider-Man with a dinosaur? Jurassic Parker.

28.What do you get when you cross Spider-Man with a dog? Peter Barker.

29.What do you get when you cross Spiderman with an ear of corn? Cobwebs.

30.What do you get when you cross Spider-Man with a Mediterranean flatbread? Pita Parker.

31.What do you get when you cross Spiderman with a boy who never grows up? Peter Pan.

Child laughing at Spiderman jokes.
Image © philidor under a creative commons licence.

Spiderman Funny Friends And Enemies Jokes

From Wonder Woman jokes to Doc Ock puns, Spider-Man Jokes involving other superheroes and villains are guaranteed to save the day.

32.Where did Black Widow and Spiderman first meet? On the world wide web.

33.What month doesn't Spider-Man like? Ock-tober.

34.What did Iron Man say to Spider-Man? Don’t bug me.

35.What is the name of the business Spiderman has with Wonder Woman? Amazon Web Services.

36.Why did Spiderman go to the bank with Doc Ock?  To stop him committing armed robbery.

37.Why doesn’t Spider-Man like talking to Batman? Because he has bat breath.

38.Which superhero can Mr Clean easily get rid of? Spider-Man, it just takes a little pledge.

39.Which game does Spider-Man always lose against Thanos? Snap.

Four kids lying on a bed laughing at Spiderman jokes.
Image © Monkey Business under a creative commons licence.

Best Spiderman Jokes About Peter Parker

With great power, comes great Spider-Man Jokes.

40.What does Peter Parker call a Spiderman made of building blocks? His alter-lego.

41.Why was Aunt May worried about Peter Parker? He was spending too much time on the world wide web.

42.What did Peter Parker’s boss say to him when he got a job in the CIA? Spy-there-man.

43.Why does Spiderman hate driving with his evil twin? Because he’s a bad parallel Parker.

44.What do you call a powerless Spider-Man who still jumps from building to building? Peter Parkour.

45.What do you call Spiderman when he sticks his nose in other people’s business? Nosy Parker.

Boy with Spiderman mask face paint smiling happily.
Image © bob_sato_1973 under a creative commons licence.

More Funny Spiderman Jokes

It's always good to be on the safe side and arm yourself with some extra Spider-Man Jokes.

46.What is Spider-Man’s job? Web developer.

47.Why is Spiderman always so quick to react? Because with great power comes great response-ability.

48.Why is Spiderman silly? Because he wears his underpants on his head.

49.Why did Spiderman open a savings account? To turn his Spidey cents into Spidey dollars.

50.Why did Spider-Man get an accountant?  To calculate his net income.

51.Which ankle did Spider-Man twist after tripping on the curb? Ankle Ben.

52.Why is Spiderman so good at swimming? Because he has webbed feet.

53.What does Aunt May sing when Spiderman makes lunch? Spiderman, Spiderman, he just opened a tuna can.

54.Why did Spider-Man get embarrassed? His fly was down.

55.What did Spider-Man name his son? Arachnakid.

Disclaimer

Disclaimer

At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. We strive to recommend the very best things, that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. 

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Kidadl provides inspiration for everything from family days out to online classes, arts, crafts and science experiments. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability.

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