50+ Hammer Jokes And Puns That Are A Smash Hit

We have some of the best hammer jokes that even MC Hammer approves of.
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Laugh along with these hammer puns because it's ha-ha-hammering time.

Hammers are one of the most useful everyday tools in today's life. They are tools with a weighted head made of metal attached to a long handle.

Hammers are mainly used for carpentry, pulling nails, framing, assembling or making furniture, riveting, shaping or bending metal pieces, masonry, and so on. The use and invention of simple general hammers date back to almost 3.3 million years ago. These are extremely important tools, even though they may not be the sharpest tool in the toolbox. So, knock yourself out with a few of these great hammer puns.

If you like this article, you may also love our articles on 45+ Construction Puns That Hit The Nail On The Head and 147 Wood Puns That Are Solidly Funny.

Funny Hammer Puns That'll Hit You Hard

Up your tool humor with these hammer and nail puns that we've got.

Have a go at these funny puns about hammers and some claw puns that will just hit the nail of humor.

1. I've always wondered how hammers fall down. Then one day it hit me.

2. Captain America never lifted Thor's hammer unless he absolutely needed to. Probably because the Captain didn't want to steal Thor's thunder.

3. The other day the teacher asked one student if anyone knew who invented the door hammer. The student said, "No, it doesn't ring a bell".

4. Once I was asked to tell some hammer jokes at the local stand up comedy show. I nailed it.

5. The other day I was having difficulty erasing some files on my Dell laptop. My friend suggested that I should smash it with a hammer. Well, they certainly got Dell-eted.

6. I don't even like going to any parties at MC Hammer's house. He never lets anyone touch anything.

7. My brother was working on our fence and told me that he needed a hammer and some nails. I just told him, "Well, I have 20 nails, but I'd prefer if you didn't hit them with a hammer".

8. My friend decided to cross a hammer and a cookie. I named the result of the experiment as Cookie crumbs.

9. I was helping my brother the other day with some construction work when he told me to get him the hammer, but I mistakenly handed him the drill. He just told me that I could have nailed that, but I definitely screwed up.

10. My friend was working on a project, and he hammered a nail through the wall. He was just trying to drive the point across.

11. A ribeye looked at the spiky hammer on the shelf and asked the cube steak what it was. The cube steak replied, "Beats me."

12. One day, I went to Home Depot to buy a hammer, but they didn't have it in-store at that time. So they told me that they're going to mallet to me.

13. I saw my father banging a hammer on a rib roast the other day. When I asked why he was doing so, he said he was just fixing some dinner.

14. I was helping my dad by hammering some nails on the cardboard when he suddenly said that I hammer like lightning. He said it's because I never strike in the same place twice.

15. The other day, the Norse God of Thunder accidentally dropped a hammer on his hand. Now he has a Thor Thumb.

16. The hammer hung up the poster with just one hit. He exclaimed after it, "Nailed it".

Best Hammer Puns That Hit The Nail

MC Hammer might say that you can't touch this but you can laugh along with these hammer jokes.

This is the list of the best hammer puns that can make even Thor laugh. Take your pick.

17. The Jackhammer was such a groundbreaking invention.

18. I don't like watching hammer throw. It's just a few people who just throw their weight around.

19. My dad always encourages me to own a lot of hammers. I guess my hammers and I are in a poly-hammerous relationship.

20. I'm going to buy a hammer this weekend. I'm interested to know if they're priced by the pound.

21. I was once at my local hardware store, and the employee asked if I wanted a ladder or some hammers. I said that I wanted the latter and was surprised when he brought me a ladder.

22. The other day, I heard about a guy who vandalized some park benches using a hammer. The police said that was an act of mallets.

23. I told my dad that I was hungry. He just handed me a quarter and a mallet and told me, "Have some quarter pounder".

24. Hammers are the dumbest among all the tools. Probably because it isn't really the sharpest tool in the shed.

25. The hammer got the right answer to all the questions he was asked. So the nail told him, "You certainly hit the nails on the head".

26. I made up some great jokes about construction. But I'm not finished working. I still needed to hammer out some kinks and have to nail the delivery.

27. Once on Halloween, I saw a dog dressed as a hammer. His owner said he was a 'Labra Thor'.

28. The nails had a little too much to drink at their friend's party. They were pretty hammered.

29. There was a very shy hammer at the tools university. Her friends called her bash-ful.

30. My friend was hitting some avocados with a hammer repeatedly. When I enquired what was she trying to do, she said she was making Gu-whack-amole.

31. I was playing a new game with some friends with a few hammers that we invented. We called ourselves the Super Smash Bros.

32. The hammer wasn't allowed to join his school band's party with seven other tools. It was because he was tool eight.

Hammer And Nail Jokes That We Definitely Nailed

Here you'll find some punny hammer and even some left-handed hammer puns and jokes to drill your way through people's hearts.

33. What did the teacher say when she introduced nail at the new tools school? This is Screwdriver, this is Wrench, this is Hammer, and you know the Drill. He's from your old school.

34. What did the Hammerhead Shark Man name his burger which he made the other day? He named it BigMaccus.

35. Which is Thor's favorite animal which you can find a picture of hanging on his office? A Hammerhead Shark.

36. When the famous carpenter owned a very strange hammer, what name did he call it? He called it the abnor-mallet-y.

37. Why can't you be good friends with a hammer? They always tell some hard-hitting truths.

38. Why was the frog very reluctant to lend his hammer to the mushroom? Because he thought it was a toad's tool!

39. What did the hammer announce on the intercom when a huge fire broke in the tools university? The hammer screamed, "This is not a drill! This is not a drill!".

40. What did the amateur chef do when he saw instructions for hammering the herbs in the cooking book? He said, "It's hammer thyme."

41. Which particular brand of toothpaste is used by all the tools for brushing their teeth? They all use Arm and Hammer.

42. What happened when a Hammerhead Shark met with a Nail Tail Whale for the very first time? They really hit it off and became quick friends.

43. Why do the tools in the toolbox hate talking to the hammer? Because he's very blunt.

44. Who got selected to host the much-awaited awards show for tools? MC Hammer.

45. What did the two carpenter brothers do when they opened their lunch box? They took out some chisels and hammers to eat rock cakes.

46. Why did people start to laugh at the doctor who lost her reflex hammer? Because the people thought that she was a real knee-slapper.

47. Why was the hammer appointed as a journalist? Because he could report breaking news best.

48. Why did the mother cow give a hammer to her baby cow whenever the little one got sleepy? I guess she just wanted him to hit the hay.

49. What does a spinal cord do when it hammers a nail into the wall? It does it with a number of spinal taps.

50. What is the one similarity that Carpenters and volleyball players have? It is that they all love to hammer spikes.

51. What was the state of the nails when they got out of the bar? They were completely hammered.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly puns for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Hammer Puns & Jokes then why not take a look at 41 Axe Puns That Are Scarily Funny, or for something different take a look at 186 Spice Puns That Are Burningly Funny.

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