78 Cracking Computer Jokes For Your Kids

Mum sat on the sofa with her daughter sat on her lap. Both are happy looking at the laptop laughing.
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Image © iStock, under a creative commons licence.

So many of us use computers every day, and sometimes our kids even more so!  

It's easy to see why, with so much that we are able to do, whether that's talking to friends or playing games, and the ability to learn at the click of a button. So we've collected a list of 78 computing jokes, jokes on computer mice, websites, the internet, and much more.

If your kids love their computers, then these funny computer jokes will be the one thing you need to entertain the whole family.

Question And Answer Jokes About Computers

Some classic computer jokes to distract your kids from their screens.

1) What is the spider such a good computer programmer? It knows all about the web.

2) Why does the computer keep coughing? It has a virus.

3) How do you stop your laptop's charge running out? You hide its trainers.

4) What are laptops favourite snacks? Computer chips.

5) How does a computer eat computer chips? With mega-bytes.

6) Why are elephants just like computers? They both have lots of memory.

7) What do you get if you cross an elephant with a computer? Bits of plastic all over the floor.

8) Why shouldn't you be scared of what you get when you cross a computer with a dog? Its bark is worse than its byte.

9) Why did the computer go to the opticians? It needed to improve its web-sight.

10) Why was the computer bad at tennis? It tried to surf the net.

11) How did the surfer break his computer? He tried to surf the web.

12) What is an alien's favourite key on a keyboard? The space bar.

13) Why did PowerPoint cross the road? To get to the other slide.

14) What do doors, pianos, and computers all have in common? They have keys.

15) Why was the computer late? It had a hard drive.

16) Who did the computer call when it was in trouble? A screen-saver.

17) How did the burglar steal the computer's things? It had left a window open.

18) How did the prisoner escape computer jail? He pressed the escape key.

19) Which football team loves computers? Leeds United.

Little girl sat on the bed looking at computer jokes on her tablet and laughing.
Image © Pxfuel, under a creative commons licence.

20) Which of Cinderella's friends is always on her computer? Buttons.

21) Why did the keyboards break up? They weren't each other's type.

22) How do trees get on computers? They log on.

23) Why was the computer so chilly? Someone left the window open.

24) Why did the duck put his feet in the computer? He wanted webbed feet.

25) Why did the chicken cross the keyboard? To get to the other site.

26) What do you call a policeman crossed with a computer? P.C. PC

27) What does Steve Jobs like to order from McDonald's? A big Mac.

28) What do people who like waterproof clothing and Apple Geniuses have in common? They like macs.

29) How did the computer escape when it was locked in the house? He got a window open.

30) How did people know Bill Gates farted at Apple HQ? There was no Windows.

31) Why was the computer proud of its son? The son was a micro-chip off the old block.

32) What's the woodcutter's favourite bit of his new computer? Logging in.

33) How many computer programmers are needed to put in a light bulb? None, it's a hardware issue.

34) What do you get when you cross a computer with a crocodile? A mega biter.

35) What do you get when you cross a computer with a freezer? Cold, hard data.

36) Why did WiFi marry the computer? They had a connection.

Computer Puns

Have a read of these jokes - computer fans will love them!

37) My computer is so slow it hertz.

38) I love my computer because it sings to me; it's a Dell.

39) We'll, we'll, we'll... Autocorrect has arrived.

40) I didn't mean to punch my keyboard, but it said: "Hit any key to continue".

41) I keep getting emails about canned meat, it's all Spam.

42) Jack and Jill went up the hill... to get better WiFi.

43) If you steal my computer, I'll find you. You have my Word.

Computer Jokes About Mice

A brown wood mouse with wide black eyes.
Image © PickPik, under a creative commons licence.

No, not those kinds of mice!

44) Why does the cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse.

45) Why can't the boa constrictor use the computer anymore? It ate the mouse.

46) Where do the coolest mice live? In their mouse-pads.

47) What made the computer squeak? Someone stepping on its mouse.

48) Why don't elephants use computers? They're scared of its mouse.

49) What did one mouse say to the other mouse? I get a click out of you

50) What do you get if you cross a computer and a flying carpet? A mousemat

51) Why was there cheese in the keyboard? The mouse liked a snack.

Computer Jokes About The Internet

Your kids don't have to browse far to get a laugh.

52) What do you call the woman who married the internet? The wife-i.

53) How did the fisherman break his computer? When he went fishing, he tried to use the internet.

54) How did the boy break the school computer? His PE teacher told him to kick the ball in the net.

55) How did Granny get her head stuck in the computer? She wanted to put her hair in a net.

56) Why don't people like shopping on the Internet? Their shopping trolly rolls off the back of the computer.

57) Why do people not like the Internet? It has a huge e-go.

The Internet Explorer icon for the computer.
Image © Microsoft, under a creative commons licence.

Doctor Computer Jokes

Are your kids on the computer so much you think they might be one and the same? Maybe they should ask these questions...

58) Doctor, doctor, I might be a computer?

How long have you felt like this?

Ever since I was switched on!

59) Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a computer.

You'd better get to the hospital right away!

I can't, my cable won't reach that far.

60) Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a laptop.

You're just run down, let me give you some medicine.

No, thanks. But I could do with some new batteries.

61) Doctor, doctor, I don't think I'm a computer anymore; I'm a computer desk.

Stop letting things get on top of you.

62) Doctor, Doctor, my little brother thinks he's a computer.

Well, bring him in for an appointment.

I can't, I need to use him to finish my homework.

63) Doctor, doctor, can I browse the Internet on an empty stomach?

No, you should always do it on a computer.

64) Dentist, Dentist, am I a computer?

Why would you think that?

I have a blue tooth.

Young boy and girl looking at the computer laughing and cheering.
Image © Pxfuel, under a creative commons licence.

Website Jokes

We bet you haven't browsed these before.

65) Have you seen the maths website? Yes, it added a lot to my day.

66)  Have you seen the whoopee cushion website? I've only just got wind of it.

67) Have you seen the wind website? Yes, it really blew me away.

68) Have you seen the train website? Yes - it's just the ticket.

69) Have you seen the cow website? No - haven't spotted it so far.

70) Have you seen the pins website? Yes, I was really bowled over.

71) Have you seen the counting sheep website? Yes, but it put me to sleep.

72) Have you seen the new hot cross bun website? Yes, it's my currant favourite!

73) Have you seen the cloud website? Yes, but it went right over my head.

74) Have you seen the history website? Yes, but not for a really long time.

75) Have you seen the science website? Yes, it was pretty explosive.

Knock Knock Jokes

76) Knock, knock

Who's there?

Ya

Ya who?

No thanks, I use Google.

77) Knock, knock

Who's there?

Amanda

Amanda who?

Amanda fix your computer.

78) Knock, knock

Who's there?

...

Hello, who's there?

Internet Explorer!

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