Coffee can be addictive, and so are these funny coffee puns!
Your little coffee lovers are bound to be delighted by these coffee jokes that will leave them full of beans! Words cannot espresso how much these puns on coffee will make them laugh.
But first, some history and a few facts about coffee, the second most loved beverage in the world behind water! It is thought to have been discovered by a goat herder in Ethiopia in the 16th century (better latte than never!), who noticed his goats had a lot more energy after consuming coffee. Other historians believe the beverage was discovered in Yemen during the 15th century, where monks brewed coffee in the town of Mocha.
Coffee 'beans' are a bit of a misnomer. In fact, coffee beans are the pit of a berry which grows on a bush. So really, coffee is a fruit, but unfortunately it does not count towards one of your five a day!
The delicious hot drink is produced by drying, roasting and grinding coffee beans. Once you have coffee grounds, the possibilities are endless: you could make a straight espresso by running hot water through the grounds at high pressure, a latte by adding lots of frothy milk and foam, a mocha by adding chocolate powder and foam, an americano with added water, and the list goes on!
The cappuccino has an interesting story: the name comes from Italian Capuchin monks and their robes. The colour of the coffee with added frothy milk is much like that of the monk's attire, hence the name!
People love coffee so much that it is the most valuable traded commodity after petrol. Around 500 billion cups of coffee are consumed around the world every year. The first coffee shop is thought to have opened in Constantinople (modern day Istanbul) in 1475. Today, Starbucks, perhaps the most famous coffee chain in the world, opens on average one coffee shop a day! It now counts more than 27,000 stores around the world. It's also thought that the chain sells over 87,000 drink combinations.
Caffeine should be consumed with moderation. Coffee consumption can cause adverse effects such as dehydration or sleep deprivation, so remember to drink plenty of water with your hot drinks and to not drink them too late in the day! Some studies have even shown that drinking too much coffee could kill, although it would take about 70 cups of the beverage to kill an adult. On the other hand, coffee is thought to accelerate the human metabolism and to reduce the risk of liver damage in adults.
Now that you are an expert on all things coffee, you can enjoy these puns and jokes on coffee with your family.
Clever Coffee Puns
These jokes about coffee are a whole latte fun to fill your afternoon with! See if you can make your friends laugh by telling them one of these clever coffee puns; starting with what we think is the funniest joke about coffee out there!
1. Discussions between two coffee amateurs can very quickly turn into a strong and heated debate.
2. After the French Revolution, Kings and Queens started only drinking decap coffee.
3. Don't give a kangaroo a cup of coffee, it's already too jumpy!
4. I have my eye on you coffee drinkers, you look ready to stir up trouble.
5. Hold on, I think I've been to this coffee shop before: I'm getting deja-brew!
6. Hipsters love coffee but they always burn their tongues on them: they insist on drinking it before it is cool.
7. He promised me a coffee but he never made it: that friendship came to a bitter end.
8. Come on, tell me the gossip about the coffee date - spill the beans!
9. If the tea and the coffee get married, but the tea leaves, does that give the coffee grounds for divorce?
10. After having my morning coffee, I always feel full of beans!
11. If you ever serve me a cold cup of coffee, I will be boiling mad!
12. I was drinking my coffee in my slippers this morning, and I thought, I really must wash some mugs.
13. I read that on average we spend more money on coffee than educating our children. How do we sleep at night?
14. Every morning I have a dangerous cup of coffee, but I make sure I have safe tea first.
15. I drink so much coffee that it's a part of my daily grind now.
16. Someone stole my coffee cup from the office today, so I'm just on my way down to the police station to look at some mug shots.
17. Bullies who drink coffee are mean beans.
18. I've been to every single coffee shop in town. Bean there, done that.
19. Influencers don't make their own coffee, the only filters they know how to use are Instagram filters.
20. The first level of the coffee factory is called the ground floor.
21. I met my soulmate at my local café, now we are a happy cup-le.
22. Alright everyone, kettle down: it's coffee time!
23. I'm so sorry, affogato your name!
24. IT workers have to install Java before they can have their morning coffee.
25. You really think you can make a better cup of coffee than me? Alright then, hit me with your best shot!
26. I was a bit hesitant to try the new syrup flavour in my coffee at first, but in the end I decided to give it a shot.
27. I have to get my daily cup of coffee in by whatever beans necessary.
28. You don't choose the mug life, the mug life chooses you.
29. Alright, I've had bean-ough of you!
Luscious Latte Puns
These funny coffee jokes are the opposite of frothy and full of air - they will make any coffee addict laugh a whole latte! Which is your favorite coffee pun?
30. If your morning is not going according to plan, you've got to learn to just latte be.
31. My coffee took 30 minutes to arrive but hey, better latte than never I guess!
32. Drinking too much coffee can cause a latte health problems.
33. I have a latte on my mind at the moment.
Delightful Cappuccino Puns
Coffee lovers are bound to appreciate these delicious puns with a chocolatey twist. Coffee puns don't get much funnier than these!
34. Al Cappuccino was the greatest criminal of all time.
35. I read a book about the origin of lattes and cappuccinos the other day, but it was all froth and no substance.
36. Just like Ricky Martin, I'm livin' la vida mocha.
Hilarious Espresso Puns
Some quick espresso entertainment to brighten your afternoon! Enjoy giggling at these espresso puns with the whole family, whether you are coffee lovers or not.
37. A cup of coffee that gets up on the wrong side of the bed is called a despresso.
38. The reason Italians are so good at making coffee is because they know how to espresso themselves.
39. Look, I made a pot of coffee espresso-ly for you.
40. The only way to drink an espresso is quickly.
Puns About Coffee For Your Sweetheart
It turns out coffee is a great way to reveal your feelings for a fellow coffee addict. These coffee puns are made specially to delight your sweetheart. Why not see if you can make someone smile by telling them one of these cute coffee puns?
41. You're the most brew-tiful person I have ever seen!
42. Words cannot espresso how much I love you.
43. You mocha me crazy!
44. I love you a latte.
45. Where have you bean all my life?
46. As you love coffee too, clearly we were meant to bean together.
47. I need to find a coffee lover to keep me grounded.
48. You mocha me so happy.
49. Sending many mugs and kisses to my favourite coffee lover.
50. I've bean thinking about you a latte.
Being a barista is a high pressure job, which leaves a lot of people steaming! These coffee puns are perfect for anyone who loves to make a good brew. Relax and have a giggle at these funny coffee puns.
51. Every morning, the barista wakes up and says "rise and grind!"
52. If you get a job in a coffee shop, just make sure do not show up to work in a tea-shirt.
53. The barista called the police because he just got mugged.
54. The barista is always running late, he is constantly pressed for time.
55. The competition for best barista ends with the winner taking home the coffee cup.
56. I was looking gloomy one morning but the barista said "don't worry, be frappe!"
57. I won't be going back there, the barista roasted me for my poor coffee choice.
58. Being a barista is really difficult, but I feel like I'm giving it my best shot.
59. I couldn't get to work at the coffee shop yesterday because there was a really bad storm brewing.
60. My coffee tasted like mud this morning, but when I asked the barista why that may be she said it was only ground a few minutes ago.
61. The barista can be really rude sometimes: he doesn't have a filter.
These hilarious jokes should give you the perfect boost of energy for your afternoon!
62. Why don't snakes drink coffee? Because it makes them viperactive!
63. What's the best Beatles song? Latte Be!
64. How do vampires drink their coffee? Decoffinated!
65. What's the opposite of coffee? Sneezy!
66. What is the name of the birds' favourite coffee shop? The nest-café!
67. A man walks into a café and asks the waitress "How much is a coffee here please?". The waitress answers "Well, it's two dollars for a coffee, and refills are free." The man says "Great, I'll have a refill then please!"
Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly puns and jokes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for coffee puns that will make you laugh a latte, then why not take a look at these 50 Bread Puns And Jokes That Will Never Get Stale, or for something different take a look at these 32 Tree Puns And Jokes That Are Unbe-Leaf-Ably Funny.
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