80+ Best Witch Puns And Jokes That Are Wickedly Good

Witches are the most common costume theme for kids to wear on Halloween.
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Cracking jokes and talking in subtle puns is the best way to witch your friends a happy Halloween.

Even if you're not a very punny person, you can always make a hex-ception for the Halloween season. Witch costumes are pretty common during Halloween.

One way to get your witch character to stand out from the rest is to crack jokes and be punny. You can also go for funny witch names to help your Halloween witch puns. You don't have to worry if you're not good at brewing your jokes. And if you have no idea about witch way you need to go to find a joke to crack, we're here to help you. We've curated a list of the best witch puns and jokes just for you. Let's have your friends cackling like a witch at the end of the night with all of these puns, one-liners, and jokes.

If you want to dive into some more spooky puns, you can head over to pumpkin puns. You can also check out these great zombie puns.

Funny Witch Jokes

A witch is a woman that practices dark magic and witchcraft. We know them for their broomsticks, their familiars, their cauldrons, their black robes, and pointed hats. These make great subjects for jokes and puns, which means that many witch jokes are flying about. Encourage some wordplay to make your next Halloween more interesting and fun. Here is a rundown of a few jokes for you to cast your funny witch spells on your friends.

1. What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.

2. Who turns the lights off on Halloween? The light's witch.

3. What do you call witches who live together? Broom-mates.

4. What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot? Violators will be toad.

5. What do you learn in witch school? Spelling.

6. Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook? It was written in curse-ive.

7. What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick? She flew off the handle.

8. What do you call a witch that lives in the desert? A sand-witch.

9. What is a witch's favorite makeup? A ma-scare-a.

10. What happens to witches who break the school rules? They get ex-spelled.

11. What did the witch say to her victim while she was waiting? Bewitcha in a minute!

12. What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair? A scary-go-round.

13. What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese.

14. What noise do witches' cereals make? Snap, cackle, and pop.

15. What did the lost witch ask the wizard? "Witch way to the Halloween party?"

16. What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire? Rags to witches story.

17. Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween? Because they provided broom service!

18. Why did the witch go to the doctor? She had a dizzy spell.

19. How do you make a witch scratch? By taking away the 'w'.

20. Where does the witch's frog sit? On a toadstool.

21. What do you call a nervous witch? A twitch.

22. What kind of jewelry do witches wear? Charm bracelets.

23. What do witches in Australia ride? Broomerangs.

24. How do old witches get good bargains? They hag-gle.

25. Who's a witch's favorite movie director? Steven Spellberg.

26. What is a witch's favorite TV show? Game of crones.

27. Have you heard about the good weather witch? She's only anticipating sunny spells.

28. Why are witches good at farming? Because they love occult-ivation.

29. Why is it good to drink witch's brew? It's very newt-tricious!

30. Why do witches not wear a regular hat? Because there's no point in it.

31. What did the tired witch do? She sat down for a spell.

32. What do a witch and a candle have in common? They're both wicked.

33. Why don't wizards make their witches mad? They'll give them a cold spell.

34. Why was the illiterate witch kicked out of her coven? It was because she couldn't spell.

Funny Witch Broom Jokes

Witches use broomsticks to travel. Rumour has it that they chose broomsticks as their mode of transport because vacuum cleaners were too heavy. Brooms tend to be the most prominent subject of witch jokes and witch puns. We've compiled a list of funny witch broom jokes to make being a witch pun for you.

35. How do witches play loud music? On their broom boxes.

36. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? It's time to go sweep.

37. What do you call a fast broomstick? A vroom-stick.

38. What does the little witch use to bake her birthday cake? The easy bake coven.

39. How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick? Voodoo like to ride with me.

40. Why was the broom late? It over swept.

41. What did one broomstick say to the other? Did you hear the new dirt?

42. Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night? That's the time to sweep.

43. What do you call a witch's spotless garage? A broom closet.

44. Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween? The witches sweep the sky.

45. How do you find out if a witch is carrying a bomb? You hear her brooms tick.

46. What do you call a witch who keeps crashing her brooms? A wreckless hag.

47. Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game? Their bats flew away.

48. Why did the witch put her broomstick inside the washing machine? She wanted a clean sweep.

Witch's Cat Jokes

The black cat began to be associated with Halloween because witches supposedly kept a black cat as their familiars. A familiar is an animal that acts as the witch's attendant. If you want to include your pet in your Halloween rendezvous, crack some jokes about them and get people familiar with your pet.

49. What did the witch get her cat for entertainment? A cat-alog.

50. Why are black cats very good singers? They're mewsical.

51. Why did the witch's cat scratch her? Because he was in a bad mewd.

52. What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast? Mice crispies.

53. What did one witch's cat say to the other? You look familiar.

54. What dessert did the witch give her cat? Mice-cream.

Funny Halloween Witch Puns

Witches that are nice are considered failures amongst other witches.

You'll hear lots of bad Halloween puns and funny Halloween puns during Halloween. You always crack some broom puns and witchcraft puns to keep the scary puns game going. The battle of puns is a battle of wits. So here's a list of puns you can tell your friends that'll ensure you get the title of the 'Funniest Halloween Witch' in your neighborhood.

55. Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.

56. Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.

57. The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.

58. The problem with twin witches is that you never know witch is which.

59. A witch tells the time by looking at her witch watch.

60. A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.

61. People are scared of witches because of their resting witch face.

62. Witches love to go to the mountains because they love witch-hiking.

63. Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.

64. Witches don't fart. They cast smells.

65. Cats prefer wizards to witches because sorcerers sometimes have milk in them.

66. Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.

67. Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.

68. The witch lost her way because her hat was pointed in the wrong direction.

69. A witch laughing her head off will go 'cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk'.

70. Witches buy pencil sharpeners to keep their hats pointed.

71. Witches love to travel because they're filled with wand-erlusts.

72. Witches always come first at spelling bee contests.

73. Witches can smell brew from far away because they have a very keen sense of spell.

Best Witch Puns For Halloween Captions

Puns can be made related to almost every Halloween costume, but most of the best ones are about witches. Among the many witch puns, there are puns to use in your conversations and other puns you may need for your Instagram captions. We've got your back for both. It takes witchful thinking to come up with the best and unique captions for your brewtiful post. Here are some spooky puns to beat the other October puns on Instagram and ace your Instagram game.

74. Keep calm and carry a wand.

75. This is how you party when you're witch and famous.

76. You've got me under your spell.

77. Witch way to the brew?

78. Come witch me to the party.

79. Where are my ghouls at?

80. You are brewtiful.

81. Bewitcha in a minute.

82. Creepin' it real.

83. Wanna hop on? I've got a broom with a view.

84. Flipping the s-witch this Halloween.

85. Witching upon a star.

Witch Jokes Based On Fiction

There are plenty of fun movies and books based on witchcraft and wizardry.

Cracking a Halloween pun is Sirius business. Movies based on witches and witchcraft are gaining a lot of popularity in the modern-day. If you're looking for witch jokes that will help you grab the attention of the cool kids at your Halloween party, these witch jokes based on 'Harry Potter', 'Lord of the Rings', 'Wizard of Oz', and other popular film franchises will surely help.

86. How did Harry Potter fix his rashes? With quit-itch.

87. What do you call a dark lord who has been electrocuted? A volt-demort.

88. Why hasn't anybody ever seen Voldemort wearing his glasses? Nobody nose.

89. Who made the yellow slick road slippery? The wizard of ooze.

90. Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.

91. How do the Malfoys enter a room? They Slytherin.

92. Did you hear about the TV show with witches as FBI agents? They call it The Hex-Files.

93. Who was the most famous witch detective? Warlock Holmes.

Knock Knock Witch Jokes

Everyone is familiar with knock-knock jokes. If you're looking to woo people into giving you more Halloween candy, here are some knock-knock jokes formulated just for your needs.

94. Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Witch!

Witch who?

Witch one of you will give me my Halloween candy?

95. Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Witch.

Witch who?

Witch one of you can fix my broomstick?

96. Knock knock!

Who's there?

Witch.

Witch who?

Witch way to go home?

97. Knock Knock!

Who's there?

You know.

You know who?

Exactly! Avada Kedavra!

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly puns for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for 80+ Best Witch Puns and Jokes, then why not take a look at skeleton jokes, or for something different take a look at elf puns.

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