48 Best Witch Jokes That Will Bewitch Your Children

Two little girls outside dressed up as witches laughing.
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Witches are absolutely fascinating - they can fly on broomsticks, do magic spells with their wands and stir up incredible potions in their cauldrons.

Whether you're searching for jokes for Halloween or you just love hearing stories about witches and dressing up in a pointed hat and cape, then you've come to the right place. We've conjured up some really funny witch jokes that'll enchant your friends and family when you tell them.

The Harry Potter books have made witches (and wizards) really cool recently - who wouldn't want to be as smart as Hermione Granger, as brave as Ginny Weasley or play Quidditch as well as Cho Chang? But witches haven't always had an easy time or inspired funny witch jokes. In medieval times, people feared witches and hunted them down and apparently burned them at the stake.

And did you know, that while we associate witches with Halloween, in Sweden people believe witches come out over Easter, while other countries believe they emerge on Midsummer's Eve. So you'd better watch out for strange shadows flitting across the sky. Whoever your favourite witch is from Sabrina to The Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz, and whatever spell you love best (it's got to be abracadabra, surely?), you'll be bewitched by all these funny jokes for kids inspired by witches and all the things associated with them like black cats, broomsticks and cauldrons.  

The Funniest Witch Jokes (Question and Answer)

Little girl dressed as a witch sat on the ground in a field making a green potion in a cauldron.
Image © Unsplash

There are so many witch jokes for kids that you can magic up anytime you want to get someone in your coven cackling with laughter. We've listed some really funny witch jokes here in time for Halloween or just to pull out of your cauldron every time you feel a little bit evil. In this section, you'll find question and answer jokes including some classic 'what do you call a witch...' gags, 'witch' get smiles on faces every time.

1) How does a witch tell the time? She looks at her witch watch!

2) What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese.

3) What do you call two witches who live together? Broom-mates.

4) Why did the witch give up fortune-telling? She saw no future in it.

5) What's the problem with twin witches? You can never tell witch is witch.

6) What's a witch's favourite funfair ride? The scary-go-round.

7) What would you find on a haunted beach? A sand-witch.

8) What happened to the witch who rode on her broom while angry? She flew off the handle.

9) Why do cats prefer wizards to witches? Because sorcerers sometimes have milk in them!

10) What is a witch's favourite item of make-up? Mas-scare-a.

11) What do you get to learn at witch school? Spelling.

12) What do you call a witch with chickenpox? An itchy witchy.

13) What do witches use to hold their hairstyles in place? Scare spray.

14) What do the fastest witches use to get around? Vroom-sticks.

15) What game do witches play on Halloween? Hide and ghost seek.

16) What do you call a witch who is pretty and friendly? A failure.

17) What happened to the witch with an upside down nose? Every time she sneezed she blew her hat off.

18) What happened to the witch who was naughty at school? She was ex-spelled.

19) Have you heard about the good weather witch? She keeps forecasting sunny spells.

20) Why won't a witch wear a flat cap? Because there's no point in it.

21) What does an Australian witch fly on? A broom-erang.

22) Why do witches have sore joints? They get broomatism.

23) Who turns the lights off at Halloween? The lights witch.

24) What did the witch call the skeleton who didn't work? Lazy bones.

25) What did the witch do when her broomstick broke? She witch-hiked.

26) Why is a witch like a candle? They are both wicked to the core.

27) What do you call a witch with one leg? Eileen.

28) How do witches on broomsticks drink their tea? Out of flying saucers.

29) Why do witches have naps? They need to rest for a spell.

30) Why do witches wear name tags? So they know which witch is witch.

31) What does a witch get when she's in a hotel? Broom service.

32) What did one witch say to the other when she was offered a lift? There's always broom for one more.

33) What do you call a witch's garage? A broom cupboard.

34) What noise does a witch's cereal make? Snap, cackle and pop.

35) Why did the witch keep turning into Mickey Mouse? She kept having Disney spells.

Knock Knock Jokes About Witches

Young boy standing in front of a grey wall laughing at witch jokes.

Everyone loves a classic knock knock joke and we've bubbled up some good ones in our cauldron of jokes here, including one that only Harry Potter fans will get. Watch out muggles! Remember these jokes on Halloween and you'll be sure to give everyone a real fright.

36) Knock, knock

Who's there?

Witch

Witch who?

Witch one of you can fix my broomstick?


37) Knock, knock

Who's there?

Witches

Witches who?

Witches is the way to go home?


38) Knock knock

Who's there?

Wanda

Wanda who?

Wanda go on a ride on my broom?


39) Knock, knock

Who's there?

You know

You know who?

Exactly!

Funny Witch Puns

Witch pun out of these lot will be your favourite? It's hard to choose, with so many funny puns to put on your list to use in October. We love the idea of putting these on signs at a Halloween party or perhaps using them in any spooky homework assignments or crafts in the lead-up to the scariest night of the year.

40) Betwitcha in a minute.

41) Witch and famous.

42) A witch in time saves nine.

43) Arts and witchcrafts.

44) That's witch-ful thinking.

45) You've got me under your spell.

46) Witch witch is witch?

47) Keep witch under your hat.

48) Want to be broom mates?

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