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It's scary how many rattling good skeleton jokes we've rounded up here.
You can learn these funny skeleton jokes, puns and one liners in time for Halloween, but we bet you'll be rolling out these bone jokes whenever you want to get a laugh. Have a read through and then see if you can't make up a few of your own.
Skeleton Question And Answer Jokes
Nothing gets an audience wanting more than if you get interactive with them, so get them involved with these Q&A jokes.
Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to dance with.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends? Bonely.
Why can't skeletons play church music? Because they have no organs.
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind? Nothing. It goes right through them.
Why didn't the skeleton rob the bank? Because he didn't have the guts.
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow? A numb-skull.
Why didn't the skeleton laugh at the joke? Because he didn't have a funny bone.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton? You're dead to me.
Why didn't the skeleton play football? His heart wasn't in it.
Why did the skeleton go to jail? Because he was bad to the bone.
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend? Will you marrow me?
When does a skeleton laugh? When someone tickles his funny bone.
What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn't do any work? Lazy bones.
Why do skeletons hate the cold? It sends chills up their spine.
What do you call a skeleton snake? A rattler.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He could feel it in his bones.
Why was the skeleton so calm? Because nothing got under his skin.
Did you hear about the skeleton who dropped out of medical school? He didn't have the stomach for it.
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire too long? He became bone dry.
What kind of TV does a skeleton watch? A skelevision.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks? It came back with a skeleton crew.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes? Because they have a funny bone.
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on? Bone china.
What did the skeleton bring to the picnic? Spare ribs.
Why didn't the skeleton dance at the Halloween party? Because he had no body to dance with.
What is a skeleton's favourite mode of transport? A scare-plane.
What does a skeleton fly in if his scare-plane isn't available? A skele-copter.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea? Bone voyage.
What did the skeleton say to the vampire? You suck.
What was the skeletons' favourite rock band? The Grateful Dead.
What's a skeletons' next-favourite rock band? Bone Jovi.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance? To see the boogie man.
How do French skeletons say hello? Bone-jour.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell? A dead ringer.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.
Why did the skeleton student stay late at school? He was boning up for his exam.
What do bony people use to get into their homes? A skeleton key.
Why couldn't the police arrest the skeleton? Because they couldn't pin anything on him.
What do old skeletons complain about? Aching bones.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying? He could see right through him.
What does a skeleton say when he gets angry with another skeleton? I've got a bone to pick with you.
What do you call a skeleton snake? A rattler.
Skeletons like puns – after all, they do have funny bones, so 'bone up' on these.
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorbike? I'm bone to be wild.
What did the skeleton say before eating dinner? Bone-appetite.
What's a skeleton's favourite musical instrument? A trom-bone.
What's a skeleton's favourite plant? A bone-zai.
What's a skeleton's favourite tree? A s-pine tree.
How do skeletons talk to each other? On the tele-bone.
Why do skeletons work hard? Because they want a bone-us.
Who's the most famous skeleton? Sherlock Bones.
Who is the skeletons' favourite historical character? Napoleon Bone-apart.
What does a skeleton use to call his friends? A tele-bone.
Why did the skeleton go to hospital? To have his ghoul bladder removed.
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend? I love every bone in your body.
What's a skeleton's least favourite room in the house? The living room.
Skeleton One Liners
Why not have these smart one-liners ready for a Halloween party laugh-off.
The skeleton cancelled his skull-pture show because his heart wasn't in it.
The skeleton knew what was going to happen next – he could just feel it in his bones.
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
The skeleton wanted to tell a pun, but he didn't have the guts for it.
Skeleton Story Jokes
Some jokes take a little longer to tell, but they're still rib ticklers.
One skeleton asked the other skeleton, "Why are graveyards so noisy?"
The other skeleton said, "I don't know. Why?"
And the first skeleton said, "Because of all the coffin."
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is very humerus and the other one is very sternum.
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