44 Best Horse Jokes That Won't Leave You With A Long Face

Little girl standing in front of two horses petting them on a farm.
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For animal-loving kids, you simply can't beat a horse joke. Horses are magical creatures who have long been companions to humans from medieval times to now.

Find out more about horses through these funny horse jokes for kids for a good and giddy time. Whether your children love horses or a good old' giddy giggle, we're sure they'll love these hay-tastic jokes every time.

A white and brown horse walking along through the countryside at sunset.

Puns

Get ready for these horse pun jokes as you'll be laughing out loud like it's a competition.

1.Where do horses go when they're ill? the horsepital.

2.Why did the horse eat with its mouth open? Because it had bad stable manners.

3.What did the horse say when it fell over its hooves? I've fallen over and I can't giddyup!

4.What was the horse scared of getting during summer? Hay fever!

5. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little hoarse.

6.What are a horse's favourite sports? Stable tennis and barn ball!

7.What do you give a sick horse? A Cough stirrup.

8.Why did the horse cross the road? Somebody shouted hay!

9.Why couldn’t the little pony sing? Because she was a little hoarse!

10.How do you know a horse has a negative attitude? They always says “Neigh”

11.What did the mother horse say to her child horse? "It's hay pasture bedtime!"

12.Why are horses so healthy and fit? Well, they're on a stable diet.

13.What did the waiter say to the horses? "I can't take your order, that's not my stable"

14.Why don't small shetland ponies like to sing in the choir? Because they are a bit hoarse!

15.Why was the horse really proud of his school test results? Because he got an Hay-plus!

White horses grazing in a small enclosed field.

Conversational Jokes

These conversational jokes will have you spinning around like a crazy horse every time!

16. A man stumbles across a sign while he is walking through the country and the sign reads; “Talking Horse for Sale.” So, he goes into the barn to check it all out.

“So what makes you so special then?” he asks the horse.

“I’ve led a fulfilling life,” the horse says to the man’s surprise. “I was born in Argentina and herded for an entire village in the Andes. After that, I joined the police force, mounted of course, in New York and helped maintain the city and ensure it’s clean. Now, I spend my days giving free rides to kids in the country.”

The guy is gobsmacked, jaw-dropped and speechless. He asks the horse’s owner, “Why would you want to sell this fantastic animal?”

The owner says, “Well, he’s flat out a liar! He never did any of those things he just told you!”

17. A horse walks into a restaurant. The waiter says, “Hey.” The horse says, “Dude —you read my mind!”

18. What's the difference between a horse and the weather? One reigns up and one rains down!

A light brown horse bending over to eat hay from the ground.

Question and Answer Jokes

These question and answer jokes are all about funny horses and their funny stories! From racing jokes to horse walks, we've got you covered.

19. A woman rode her horse all the way up a hill on Friday. The next day she rode back on Friday, too. How is this possible? The horse is called Friday.

20. What did the school teacher say to the horse when it walked back into the class? Why the long face?

21. What do you call a horse that lives next door to you? A neigh-bour!

22. When does a horse talk? Whinney wants to!

23. How long should a horse's legs be? Long enough to reach the ground.

24. Which side of the horse has the most hair? The outside!

25. Why did the man stand behind the horse? He was hoping to get a kick out of it.

26. What does it mean if you find a horse shoe? There’s a horse walking around with only socks on.

27. When do vampires like horse racing? When it's neck and neck.

28. What is the difference between a horse and a duck? One goes “quack” and the other goes “quick”!

29 . Why do cowboys ride horses? Because they're too heavy to carry!

30. Did you hear about the man who was had to go to the hospital with four plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable.

31. What’s black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

32. What’s a horse’s favourite TV show? Neighbours.

33. What do you call a horse that’s been all around the world? A globe-trotter.

34. What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse? The ground!

35. What kind of horse can swim underwater? A seahorse.

36. A man asks his vet, “will I will be able to race my horse again?”. The vet said, “Yes, of course you will, and I think you'll probably beat him too!”

37. What kind of food do competitive horse races like to eat? Fast food.

38. Why wasn't the horse very good at dancing? Because he had two left feet.

39. What happens when horse forgets its umbrella. It gets wet.

40. What's invisible and smells like hay? Horse farts.

41. Why wouldn't the quarter horse cross the river after the family picnic? He knew you shouldn't swim on a foal stomach.

42. Why don't horses wear underwear when they race? Because it rides up on them.

Horse Knock Knock Jokes

These knock knock horse jokes will knock your hooves right off your feet and if you're feeling a little horse, then make sure you tell your friends some of these funny jokes about horses.

43.Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Quiet horse.

Quiet horse, who?

(In a whisper), "your neigh-bour..."

44.Knock knock.

Who's there?

Loud horse.

Loud horse, who?

A loud horse that wants to annoy you!

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