Image © Alois Grundner from Pixabay.
Love playing chess? Then you're going to want to check out these funny chess puns, one liners, knock, knock jokes and other jokes about chess. Then, once you've read our funny chess jokes you can check out our other sports quips!
Like a game of chess, but we think once you've mastered them, you'll be able to make your friends laugh any time.
Question And Answer Chess Jokes
This Q&A is the classic joke format and always a winner.
Why did the chess player get tense in a restaurant? Because the waiter said, "Check."
What did the chess grand master do when the big tournament was stressing him out? He took the knight off.
What did the chess player say to the waiter? Check, please.
What did the judge do to the guilty chess player? He threw the rook at him.
How did the king lose his home? One of the horses took his castle.
Why wouldn't the cowboy play chess? He was afraid he would lose his horse.
Why did the chess player bring a pad of paper and pencils to the chess game? In case there was a draw.
What is the most costly move in chess? The check.
What do chess players like to eat? Chess-nuts.
Puns are always winners, so try these out at your first chance.
What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
What's a chess player's favourite kind of crisps? Pawn flavoured.
Why do chess pieces look so uninterested? Because they're part of a board game.
What's the easiest way to move your castle? Re-moat control.
Where can you learn to play chess? Knight school.
Which knight always lost at chess? Sir Render.
Why was the chess board so wet? The queen has reigned for years.
Why did the pirates raid the chess tournament? They were looking for a treasure chess.
Knock Knock Chess Jokes
Ready to start knocking? Get going with these funnies.
Bishop who just put you in check.
Queen your room, it's a mess.
Chess One Liners
These one liners will have you making all the right moves.
If you forget the rules of chess, don't worry – you're allowed to check.
I like to play chess with old men in the park, although it's hard to find 32 of them.
I have a friend in Prague I like to play chess with. He's my Czech mate.
I just had lunch with a champion chess player. It took her eight minutes to pass the salt.
Chess Story Jokes
Story jokes are always a winner, so try these on your family and friends.
A man went to visit his friend and was astonished to find him playing chess with his dog. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen," said the man.
"Not so smart," the friend said. "I've beaten him three out of five games."
A chess master died and a few days later, a friend of his heard his voice. “What’s it like where you are now,” he asked.
“What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news?”
“Tell me the good news first.”
“Well, it’s really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik are all here and you can play them.”
“Fantastic!” the friend said. "What's the bad news?”
“You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday.”
At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. We strive to recommend the very best things, that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents.
We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so it's important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family.
Kidadl provides inspiration for everything from family days out to online classes, arts, crafts and science experiments. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability.
Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong.
Kidadl is supported by you, the users. When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission.
All prices and product availability were correct at the time of publication.
We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content.