57 Best Duck Jokes That You Will Go Quackers For

Lots of brown and yellow baby ducks standing together.
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Kidadl presents some of the best jokes about ducks, puns about ducks and rubber duck jokes, just for you!

Wholesome jokes guaranteed to make you chuckle all day long. Chances are that after this, you won't be able to get those funny ducks out of your heads. Need some more? Check out our seaside jokes that'll keep the giggles rolling in like the waves (oh buoy...).

Question And Answer Jokes

Here are some duck jokes and duck puns to make you crack up! First up, a classic rubber duck joke:

1) What do you call a duck that steals things from the bathroom? A robber ducky.

2) On what side does a duck have the most feathers? The outside.

3) Why did the duck cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

4) Why do ducks fly south for the winter? It's too far to waddle.

5) Why do ducks lay eggs? They would break if they dropped them.

6) Why do ducks quack? Well, because they can't oink, or moo, or bark.

7) Why do ducks fly south for the winter? It's too far to waddle.

8) Why did the duck cross the road? To show the chicken how to do it.

Rows of different coloured rubber ducks.

9) Got Any Sandwiches?

One day, a duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any sandwiches?"

The bartender says, "No." The duck walks away.

The next day, the duck returned to the bar, walked to the bartender and asked, "Do you have any sandwiches?"

"Again, no. We're a bar, we sell drinks." Again, the duck walked away.

The following day, the duck returned to the bar, went to the bartender again and asked, "Do you have any sandwiches?"

"For the last time, no. And if you come back here again, I'll cut all of your feathers off!" The duck walked away.

The next day, the duck returned to the bar and to the bartender. The duck asked, "Do you have any scissors?"

The bartender said, "No."

So the duck replied, "Good, and do you have any sandwiches?"

10) How Much Is That Duck?

In a shop, a customer says, "How much is that duck?"

The shopkeeper says, "Twenty pounds."

The customer says, "Ok, please send the bill."

The shopkeeper replies, "Actually, you'll have to take the whole bird!"

Did You Know? Ducks are omnivores. They don't just eat bread, but fish, insects and aquatic plants too. Speaking of bread, if you'd fancy some jokes about bread too, we've got that for you as well.

Giant yellow rubber duck placed on the grass next to some daffodils.

Puns

Back to back duck jokes that are catchy and clever.

11) Why do ducks make good detectives? Because they always quack the case!

12) When does a duck get up in the morning? At the quack of dawn!

13) What do you call a duck that loves fireworks? A fire-quacker.

14) What did the duck say to the waiter? "Put it on my bill."

15) Where do sick ducks go? To the Ductor!

16) What kind of TV shows do ducks watch? Duckumenteries!

17) What type of food do you get when you cross a duck with a mole? Duckamole!

18) What did Santa give the duck for Christmas? A Christmas quacker!

19) What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes? "I hope I didn't quack any!"

20) What is a duck's favourite game? "Beak-a-boo!"

21) Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a quack in the pavement!

22) What has webbed feet and fangs? Count Duckula!

23) What do ducks get after they eat? A bill.

24) What does a duck detective always try to do? Quack the case.

25) What do ducks eat with their soup? Quackers.

26) What happens when you say something funny to a duck? It quacks up.

27) What's a duck's favourite ballet? The Nutquacker.

Two brown ducks swimming in a lake.
Image © Javiera Argandona

28) What do ducks say when people throw things at them? "Time to duck!"

29) Why are ducks so good at fixing things? Because they're great at using duck-tape!

30) What do you get when you put a bunch of rubber ducks in a box? A box of quackers.

31) Why was the teacher annoyed with the duck? Because it wouldn't stop quacking jokes!

32) What did the duck eat for a snack? Salted quackers!

33) What do you call a rude duck? A duck with a quackitute.

34) What did the lawyer say to the duck in court? "I demand an egg-splanation!"

35) How can you tell rubber ducks apart? You can't, they look egg-xactly the same!

36) Why are ducks good at budgeting? They know how to handle the bills!

37) Where do tough ducks come from? Hard-boiled eggs.

38) When is roast duck not good for your health? When you're the duck.

39) Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stomp out fires. Why do elephants have big feet? To stomp out burning ducks.

Seven yellow fluffy ducklings huddled together on the grass.
Image © David Clode

40) If a duck says "Quack quack", what says "Quick quick"? A duck with hiccups.

41) Why do ducks check the news? For the feather forecast.

42) What did the ducks carry their schoolbooks in? Their quack-packs.

43) What do you call it when it's raining ducks and chickens? Fowl weather.

44) Why did the duck get a red card in the football game? For Fowl-play.

45) What did the duck say to the spider? "Why don't you have webbed feet?"

46) What do get if you cross a cow with two ducks? Milk and quackers.

47) What do you get if you cross a duck with an accountant? A bill with a bill.

48) What did Count Duckula say when it was given a snack? Fangs a lot!

49) What do you call a duck's burp? A fowl smell!

50) What do you get if you cross a vampire, duck and a sheep? Count Duck-ewe-la.

51) What do you call a duck that's very clever? A wise-quacker.

A small brown and yellow duckling swimming in the water.

One-Liners

Short and punchy, here are some funny duck jokes as one-liners.

52) A duck and a man are walking in a park. Suddenly, the man notices a frisbee flying in the air and yells "Duck!" The duck looks back at the man and yells "Man!"

53) Ducks don't enjoy being stressed - they quack under pressure.

54) What did the duck say when she bought new lipstick? 'Put it on my bill'!

55) Two ducks were swimming in a pond. One of them said "Quack quack". Then the other said, "Hey, I was about to say that!"

Knock-Knock Duck Jokes For Kids

Who doesn't love a classic knock-knock joke?

56) Knock knock.

Who's there?

Duck!

Duck who?

Duck quick! My ball is heading towards you!


57) Knock knock.

Who's there?

Quack!

Quack who?

Quack open the door and you'll see!

Disclaimer

Disclaimer

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